Red Means Go And Green Means Stops

Ok so like everything in the Midwest, everything is pretty spread out making driving an absolute necessity to get to and fro.  With that in mind, I have therefore spent a lot of time in my rented Nissan Rogue.  Not a bad car all in all.  Ok anyways, to the point.  So today I was driving to Panera and its less than a mile from my hotel.  How long did it take me to drive to it?  Over ten minutes.  Why?  Because people here quite frankly don't know how to drive.  I'm not saying that I'm the best driver in the world, but in comparison to many of the drivers here, I'm an absolute freakin genius.  There's a ridiculous amount of traffic between my hotel and the Panera and there are two major causes for this.  One, theres a bit of construction going on.  Nothing huge but a little bit.  Two, people here do not know what to do with traffic lights.  For real.

I mean the light turns green and people stare at.  Quite literally stare it.  "Hmmm, the light has changed colors.  Its kind of this greenish tint looking thing...does that mean that I go?  Maybe, yeah?  Yeah I should.  Oh wait, now its turning again.  Oh shit now its the bright color, what is that again?  Oh yeah yellow.  Oh shit red.  GO!"  Honestly, I believe that must be the thought process going on.  Otherwise how else would you explain people not going when its green and two or three cars turning when its red?  Perhaps in Nebraska, the law is that you go when its red and stop when its green.  Totally possible.  Or perhaps the entire population is color blind.  That could definitely be it.  Or aliens invaded the entire city and brainwashed them into believing that red means go and green means stop so that they could force the entire city into a gridlock and therefore force their control over the people by saying that they will alleviate their gridlock by ending traffic altogether.  The people rejoice.  Then there are no more cars and everyone has to walk in 50% humidity in 90 plus degree heat and they all become walking heat alien-controlled zombies.  Don't get become alien-controlled zombies.  Learn that green means go and red means stop.

The end.