Library, give me back my soul!

So due to my amazingly awesome schedule, I will be permanently moving into the library.  No big deal, just a simple change of address with some new and very odd neighbors.  I'd like to describe to you some of my new neighbors in the Map Room.  One of my neighbors is a cute brunette female presently sitting across from me, at my previously empty table, with 4 of her sorority girl friends.  Now don't get me wrong, I obviously cannot say anything about traveling in a large pack of sorority girls, but I feel the need to comment on this situation.  Note that once again there was a completely empty table next to me.  In a real twist of the story, the brunette motioned to the empty table and asked her friends why they didn't sit there.  Her 3 friends looked at her and then looked at me.  I gave them what I thought was my most unfriendly face.  Apparently it looked quite pleasant to them, or perhaps I just wasn't intimidating enough, but either way they sat down at my table.  One girl proceeded to move my bag which I had placed next to me so that people would not sit next to me.  RUDE!  Anyways, I knew immediately that I did not like my new neighbors but I thought I'd give them a chance.  Then the cute brunette sat across from me and opened up her laptop ready to work.  She scooted her chair as close to the table as possible and started to squint and then put her face so close to the screen that her nose literally hit the screen and pushed it backwards.  She rubbed her nose and then continued to squint.  After about five minutes she hit her forehead on the screen and then a few minutes later, her nose again.  Her friends gave her that sorority judging look that some girls are so good at.  Yeah, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about but it's a real thing.  Then the girl picked up a book and her nose was actually in the crease.  Her friends just stared at her and didn't say a word.  Well hey honey, let me tell ya, YOU NEED GLASSES!  I know, shocker, but its ok future four-eyes, they make really cute glasses now that you can probably get personalized with your Greek letters.  Have no fear, you can still be fashionable.  Ok so my other neighbor is a fascinating creature.  She hasn't stopped fidgeting.  As she is not at my table, I don't really care, but then she got up to go to the bathroom.  She's wearing white, see-through sweatpants and has leopard print granny panties on.  I am so thankful they're granny panties.  Truly.  Thank you red head for wearing underpants that cover your ass because you somehow managed to make an awkward situation less awkward.  Now if you could share your underwear choices with the girl sitting to your left that'd be great.  Actually, if you could just let her know that underwear is an acceptable thing when wearing yoga pants that are a size too small that'd be much appreciated.  Thanks leopard print undies.  You are officially my new hero.