Sunday, May 8, 2011

Who's an Orc?

Yes I am updating twice in one day.  No, that is not why this post is titled "Pure Evil."  I will get to that in a moment.  First, I would like to do my customary rant about people and this in the library.  First to the girl in the cute sweater that was at one point sitting across from me.  Now, as many of you know, I do not normally appreciate people sitting across from me and normally all I do is rant and complain about just how annoying and ridiculous they are.  This is usually the case, but this girl was actually quite pleasant to sit across from.  She kept her space, she had on a cute outfit, and she smelled nice.  A+ in my book.  Then she moved seats.  To the back of the room.  Say whaaat???  Did I do something this time? That thought lasted one second.  She sat in the back for a bit and then proceeded to move to the front of the room?  I would say its because she needed an outlet, but she's reading a book...and the chairs are all exactly the same.  Truly a puzzling case.  Second, Greenberrys, I do not appreciate the fact that you increased your coffee prices.  Don't think I didn't notice.  You are manipulating the fact that we, the poor college students of whom your continued existence is based upon, need to spend obnoxious amounts of time in the library in order to pass our strenuous and awful exams.  I feel that I have been wronged in a serious manner.  This is not ok and I have thus decided to boycott you for the next two days that I am here in Charlottesville.  It will make a huge difference.  You wait and see.

Now, the reason that I feel the need to entitle this blog post "Pure Evil" is because I have just been privy to the most heinous form of treachery.  My dear friend who read my previous blog post has decided that it would be a terrific idea to watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies.  I applaud her for her excellent selection in movies, but then she proceeded to tell me this information.  While I'm stuck in the library.  Staring at my computer screen.  Not writing my final undergraduate paper (I'm in denial on that btw).  True.treachery.Pure.Evil.  There is nothing I want more in the world than to watch LOTR and read The Hobbit.  Now I get to imagine her watching the movies.  Enjoying it.  Laughing.  Crying.  The full range of emotions.  Truly, this is akin to Bilbo trying to trick Smaug into letting him into his lair to steal his treasure; or Bilbo tricking Gollum so that he could have the One Ring.  Wow, Bilbo, you really became quite the liar during that book.  Anyways, happiness was stolen from those poor, misunderstood characters.  (ok Smaug was not poor, get over it)  I would throw an orc at her if she were nearby.  Maybe a goblin.  Goblins are lighter.  Yeah definitely a goblin.  ANYWAYS, something ugly and evil would be thrown and it would be epic.  Picture that.  Me with goblin hurling it across the room where it hits its target Legolas style.  A truly fantastic image.  Keep that with you always.

Damn you paper.  I shall vanquish you.  You shall not defeat me.  I am the master of my fate.  I am the captain of my soul.

Btw this is much more enjoyable than actually writing my paper.  If my paper goes according to plan (which means that I shall probably not start writing it until later today), then I shall be able to write a tremendous paper on how Spanish identity reminds me of Gollum and other Lord of the Rings type things.  Or perhaps Star Wars or Harry Potter.  Have no fear, it will not be about Spain.

An orc is an elf turned evil.  Take that as you will.


Oops, I haven't updated in forever.  I apologize.  Have no fear, I am currently unemployed and will therefore probably have nothing better to do with my time after college than update my blog.  Beware if you live in Fairfax, if I catch you doing anything odd, I shall probably write about you.  :)

Now, as the title of my blog indicates, I am truly a contradiction (but really, who isn't?).  I judge people on my blog for not following social etiquette and yet I rarely follow my own advice.

Here is an example of my contradictory self.  While "writing" a paper on Spanish identity as "schizophrenic," (a term I personally dislike to the fullest), I decided that I should focus my attention on emphasizing a part of my own personal identity that has gone by the wayside since I've been in college.  Now, if you knew me in high school, then this will not surprise you at all.  Yes, I did actually cry in my room when I watched this because I was so happy and so excited.  If you don't feel that way, you are an orc.  Really.

The Hobbit.  My favorite book of all time.  : )