Wednesday, September 22, 2010

An Additional Chapter to the Story

The tragedy of the girl's studying location continues...

The annoyance of the girl in question has forced to continue her rant in the first person.

I recently enjoyed a few moments peace when the two left.  Unfortunately for me, they arrived back all too soon and this time with a new form of annoyance.  The Giant has quite suddenly come down with a cold.  I should and would feel sorry for him, except for the fact that he is directing his coughing exertions towards the back of my head.  Don't get me wrong, if you need to cough, then by all means go for it.  I merely ask that you do everyone around you the common courtesy of covering your mouth with your hand or elbow.  Also, it would probably be to your benefit if instead of chugging that large Starbucks DoubleShot that you just bought (which I am also wearily eyeing and do not appreciate), you go and buy yourself a water.  Not only will that help with your cough/cold, but it will also stop you from jumping around like you're on acid. The best advice that I could possibly give to you, Mr. Giant, would be for you to remove yourself from the library and to ooze your germs in a vicinity that does not contain about 100+ other people in it.  Also, I would recommend taking your friend.  Just a suggestion.

One more thing.  I notice that you have napkins sitting on your table.  If you do not use a napkin to blow your sniffling nose, I will be forced to attach the napkin to your nose permanently.  sincerely, the girl sitting in front of you who is on the verge of spraying you with lysol and very other kind of disinfectint she can find.

Sad Story of Caffeine

I would like to share with you all a very sad story.  It is the story of a boy and a girl in a library.  These two do not know one another and now they never will for reasons which will soon become evident.  The boy sat down near the girl in one of the school libraries and had had a few too many venti coffees today.  At least, this is what the girl figured as the boy didn't stop fidgeting/moving around for about 20 minutes.  Normally the girl would have merely laughed at the awkwardness of the fidgeting boy, but unfortunately for the girl, the boy was sitting directly behind her and every time he moved his 200+ pound body, the girl felt it.  Much to her dismay.  Eventually the boy stopped.  The girl assumed that his caffeine had finally worn off and that he had passed out.  She turned around and such was the case.  And the girl rejoiced.  But the girl became alarmed when she viewed another female walking up the giant.  The giant (aka the boy) and giant's gal (gg, also known as the annoying jerk who woke up the giant) switched seat and GG sat behind the girl who was only minding her own business.  GG had also been to the local caffeine shop and too had consumed an astonishing amount of caffeinated beverages for GG, like her giant friend, has been incapable of sitting still for a period longer than 5 minutes.  And this is the sad story for the girl who wanted merely to have a non-bumpy, jostling time in the library.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Warning from the surgeon general

Dear three emo, angsty looking gentlemen seated behind me,

I would like to bring it to your attention that it has been scientifically proven that smoking is not only bad for you, but also for those sitting around you. I understand that perhaps, somehow in the course of your 18 plus years of life in the united states you have somehow missed the numerous health and drug classes, required for the vast majority of the public during their years in primary and secondary education facilities, but I would like to inform you now that you are not only killing yourselves but mr as well. As a favor to me, I would appreciate it if you left my lifespan alone. If I would like to shorten it, I am quite capable of making very silly and stupid decisions all on my own. Therefore, I must ask you to desist in your current occupation of inhaling and exhaling tar and numerous other unpleasant things.

Someone who wishes to spend many days under a beautiful night sky like tonights

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Hoos feeling philanthropic and wants to donate a pair of hearing aids to the guy sitting more than 20 feet away from me.  I feel that he might be desperate need of them right now as I can hear his music with my own music playing.  That takes skill.  I would tell him that out loud but I'm not sure if he'd be able to hear me...


Ok really.  I'm getting hair burn on my cheek from the force of this chick's hair flick.  Honey, your hair just isn't that pretty so stop trying to flirt with it.  Only a caveman would like that kind of hair so go to the filming of a GEICO commercial and repeat what you've been practicing in the library.  Until that time, my cheek would appreciate it if you desist with this movement.

Much appreciated,
the girl with a now red cheek


I would like to amend my prediction on when things would once again become interesting.  The girl behind me has now hit me with her hair no less than 5 times.  I would mind less if her hair wasn't so obviously unconditioned and unbrushed.  Makes it kinda hard and rough on the face.  So instead of buying another expensive fish and mourning your dead fish properly, please go out and buy yourself a conditioner and a brush.  Perhaps a horse conditioner and brush because your hair is in dire need of some extra strength conditioning.  Also, you would probably understand your math homework better if you hadn't been talking about your dead fish for the last 20 minutes.  I understand, he was a pet, but let's be real.  Did he ever snuggle up against you when you were feeling down or sick, save your life, have any sort of contact or connection with you besides glaring at your through a fish bowl?  Probs not and if he has, then you may need to fix more than your hair.

your welcome,
your local library snob

New Place?

So I noticed that a lot of people seem to use as the final destination for their blogging so I thought that I'd try it out as well.  Definitely a lot different than tumblr so I'm not sure how I feel about it so far.

As many of you know who read my blog, my best material comes from watching people in environments in which they just aren't paying particular attention to the fact that people are watching their bizarre actions, such as at the library.  Normally, if you're at the library, you are too busy studying to attempt to hide your inner nerd and weirdo, which is understandable considering you're at the library.  Seriously, how much more do you need to do to prove your nerd worthiness than by actually being at the library.  Well, let me tell you, here at the University of Virginia, everything is a competition and therefore it is not merely enough to be a nerd at the library.  It is my thesis that people/students/staff actually compete with one another to see who is the nerdiest/most bizarre person.

Unfortunately, I have not updated recently due to the fact that the people at the libraries are actually acting in a normal, appropriate manner.  Very disappointing but I believe that this is due partially to the fact that it is the beginning of the semester and people haven't become totally overwhelmed with their work and thus lost all semblance of normalcy.  Although I hold faith that in the next week or so, the real interesting people will once again grace us with their presence.  So, don't change that channel just yet.