Sunday, October 16, 2011

Well Done Daniel Radcliffe

Check out this video!  Who would have thunk that Daniel Radcliffe could sing and dance?  Truly awesome.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Caffeine Please?

So the place that I work at is a brand new building and inside there are a plethora of food vendors and in particular there is a "Starbucks."  Please note the quotations.  Do not be fooled...I am not cool enough to have a real Starbucks in my place of business.  That would be far too fantastic to have that happen.  No, this is a pseudo-Starbucks.  In other words, the coffee they sell is Starbucks, the syrups they use are the ones that real Starbucks use, but they are not in fact a real Starbucks.  Now, to be perfectly honest with you, I really could care whether its official or not.  I am a firm believer in a loving coffee, caffeine-addicted world.  LOVE TO ALL COFFEE BEANS!  (just in case you haven't figured it out, I just had a venti pumpkin spice...what a good world we live in :) )  Anyways, so because I am not prejudice against this supposedly false Starbucks that sells the exact same beans as a real Starbucks...ok what makes it fake then and why do they have a sign saying that?  Sorry for the random thought but that just occurred to me.  Thats really stupid.  What else qualifies you as a "real" Starbucks?  How rude of the real Starbucks people to deny their little Starbucks all the rights and privileges of a real Starbucks.  How rude that they create designations like that.  Don't they understand just how awfula nd degrading that can be for a little Starbucks franchise inside of an office building.  It's already gotta have low self-esteem because its sitting in an office building and doesn't have the usual number of random wannabe hipsters (like me), housewives, teenagers, out of work recent grads, and the rest, but it doesn't even have free wi-fi.  What a sad life for a Starbucks in an office building and it doesn't even get the title of a real Starbucks.  Truly depressing.  I feel for you fake Starbucks and I commend you on your continuation of the usage of Starbucks beans.  It is truly appreciated.  Alright, moving on.  So people in my building want Starbucks coffee in the morning.  Understandable.  So does the majority of the working population.  With that in mind and with the knowledge that a large number of people work in this one office building, it would therefore make sense to hire more than two people to man the Starbucks during the morning hours right?  That would be logical right?  Mornings = tired people (brain registers need for coffee + immediate recognition of caffeine withdrawal) = Starbucks run (lots of tired people + line) * irritation * staring at the coffee+smell of coffee/appropriate number of people working to make these people happy = happy caffeinated workers...There are two workers at our Starbucks with over 15 people in line for coffee.  One takes the cash...the other makes the drinks.  You do the math.  It equals me not being a happy camper staring at the glorious, steaming cups of coffee, at the glorious silver urns holding the coffee that I so need to partake in so that I do not harm someone in my diminished-caffeinated state...

I am out of coffee and my caffeine hit is wearing off and therefore so is this post.  Thanks for reading!

"I am naughtte without my latte." - thanks Erinn :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011



...I just wet myself a little.

And this

More Colors of Fall

Here are some more colors of fall...sorry that these posts are ridiculously interesting but the colors all around me are taking over my sense.  My apologies.

Here's a good story for you.  So as many of you know, I work in the Federal Government and there are certain things that you just shouldn't say on the phone...and certain things that people calling you shouldn't say.  Like, you know, theoretically, your father calling your work phone and his first words being, "We're under attack!"  I almost had a heart attack.  My dad was talking about all of the fire trucks that were at our next door neighbors house because their exceptionally intelligent dog managed to knock over a lamp and set the curtain on fire.  My neighbors had no idea that it was their curtain that was on fire, rather that they thought it to be an electrical fire.  So, just in case you were wondering, if you call the fire department and tell them that you have an electrical fire...they're going to send their firefighters in with axes in order to cut down the walls to find the electrical fire.  Fun right?  So my father sees all of the firefighters with their axes and decides to jokingly call me, at work, and tell me that we were under attack.  Dear lord.  Good thing they don't monitor my phones at work...right?

Btw, I tried to show some non-orange photos in this post.  UVA and homecoming is on my mind.  LETS GO HOOS!

Happy Fall

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Fall!  Yesterday I decided to go on a nature walk...everyone who knows me is either looking at this in shock or is cracking up.  Yes, a nature walk...and by nature walk I mean that I walked on the sidewalk of my neighborhood with my camera.  My neighborhood is very rural.  HA!  So anyways, for some random reason I decided that I wanted to go walk around my neighborhood and take pictures of the trees.  I've always wanted to do that and I've never done it so yesterday I actually did it and it was a perfect day to do it since the leaves were just beginning to change colors!  So while I was undertaking my photographic adventure, my parents drive by in the car...staring at me.  And they appropriately ask, what the hell are you doing?  I explain my endeavor to them and they bid me good luck on my quest for capturing the beauty of autumn.  Personally, the entire time I was praying that I wasn't going to get arrested for going into people's yards and taking pictures of their trees and flowers.  Thank goodness I didn't.

Anyways, below is the fruit of my labor, the expression of my inner hipster and nerd.  Please enjoy!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Ok so I'm kind of gloating but I was just on and I realized that someone repinned a photograph that I took while I was in Venice and she repinned it on her board that she entitled "Photography."  I'm not gonna lie, but that made me feel really awesome which is funny because I feel really awesome about not having done my yoga for tonight sooo....make of that what you will.  Also, going through the photos of the places that I've previously traveled to really made me nostalgic, especially because I wore a dress that I randomly bought after class when I was studying abroad in Florence, Italy and I got lots of complaints.  Yes, I am bragging again but its the first time that I've worn that dress and really liked it!  It helped that I added my new black belt to it.  Really made it chic.  So anyways, the photo didn't really make me nostalgic for Venice per se, but rather for Florence, which is weird because while I was there all I wanted to do was smack Florentine people back into the Renaissance where they belong.  I'm sorry did I type that for public reading?  But somehow I feel like I didn't appreciate it enough.  It truly is a magnificent, beautiful, and unique city.  I hope that one day I can go back and truly enjoy it in the manner in which it was meant to be appreciated.  In the mean time, its making me realize that I need to do some traveling...ASAP.  Did you know that Donald Trump opened up a winery in Charlottesville!?!  Freaking crazy!!!  See, I need to at least go back down to Charlottesville so that I'm not so out of the loop!  Donald Trump opens a winery in Charlottesville and I hear about it at work.  Hearing about anything going on in Charlottesville (by the way, some of my coworkers had no idea that the University of Virginia is in Charlottesville nor that Monticello is right there as well...seriously, how do you live in the state of Virginia for over 25 year and you don't realize that.  Again, I apologize.  I am a history nerd and I have a great affection for my home state and all of its wonderful and important history.) via my coworkers just goes to show that I need to get in touch with my Wahoo roots.  I need some TJ in life.  Hard core.

So anyways, that post was kind of pointless...kind of like this blog.  Below is the photo that I took of Venice in the summer of 2010.  I can't really take credit for how it turned out because the city is gorgeous.  I was merely able to capture a bit of it on my camera.

P.S. RIP Steve Jobs.  I am currently able to write this blog on my MacBook Pro due to your vision and genius.  Truly, thank you.  You have shaped my generation and the way that we view the world.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Why Yes Please

Why yes, I don't think I mind searching for more shots from the upcoming Avengers movie online.  Nope, I don't mind at all.  I just wish these photos would load faster at work so I wouldn't have to wait until I got home to look at home.

I also realized something fascinating today.  I seem to blog in spurts.  And by spurts I mean at the end and beginning of the month.  Random right?  I guess thats when my creative energy boils the most!

So I'm thinking about decorating my little hole of a cube sometime this week so that it doesn't' scream hobo or I don't really work here.  Although I may keep my ghetto handwritten name plate.  I think it adds a little something extra.  But if people come to bother me too often, I may switch it with the Vacant name plate that designates the cube behind me.  I don't think my ghost cube mate would mind.  But seriously, I must smell or something that no one wants to sit at that desk.  Or maybe its because someone who sits on the other side of the partition (I'm not talking about directly on the other side and I have no idea who it is) eats TUNA all the time.  Seriously guys...tuna?  We have cute little 50s, "I think I'm at Disney Pop Culture Hotel"-esque type of cafes/eating areas.  Why can't you eat it over there so that I get a cube mate to play with.  Although, if I do get a cube mate and they suck...well then, carry on gents and I will provide you with some garlic as well.

Enough of that.  Superman anyone?  Or rather, a scene from one of my favorite movies.  Just thinking of that movie because of the new TV show, Person of Interest.  ch-ch-ch-check it outttt.  Its pretty freaking good.  Some reviews that I read didn't like James Caviezel because they felt that he wasn't forceful enough and that he didn't play the depth of his character.  Perhaps, but either way, he's the best freakin whisperer I've ever heard.  I'll take it any day.  But really, the show is quite mesmerizing.  The plot is ridiculous, but try it out.  It's definitely worth a few minutes of your time.  Probably more worth it than reading this blog. :)  Which shows have you discovered this season?

Tryin To Drive

Alright so I started a new job about two weeks ago, hence the hiatus in blogging.  I wasn't sure if this website would be blocked at my computer at work, but its not so YAYYYY!

Basically, I was told that my drive into work would be all so simple.  Just drive 7100 and you'll be there in no time. Well I'm calling shenanigans on that bullshittery because that just ain't true.  First off, have you ever noticed that every time you need to get somewhere fast, everyone around you seems to be driving at or below the speed limit and when you don't really need to go anywhere, everyone around you is driving ten above?  Maybe its just me but that seems to be a constant in my life the past two weeks.  For reals though.  Every time I'm late to work, there are these three construction trucks that insist on driving about 40 mph.  On a four lane road, thats just not gonna work for me.  You know why?  Because every little pathetic driver who otherwise would piss themselves to drive in the left lane all of sudden find that the left lane is there only option and to make matters worse, I know exactly where those trucks are my exit.  So I have the pleasure of their company and their ensuing traffic  Really?  Its just cruel.  Also, why is it that people have an annoying habit of speeding up the moment you put your blinker on?  Look dude, you were obviously going slow enough that I felt that I had enough room to move in in front of you.  You left about 5 car lengths between you and the next car.  Are you really that much of a control freak that you need to cut me off in order to maintain your pathetic 50 mph?  You truly are a sad driver.  Also, for all of you people that insist on driving the speed limit in the left lane...didnt you go to driver's school?  Didn't you watch the video with Donald Duck where Disney explains that the left lane is the fast lane and that if you're not going to go above the speed limit to remove yourself from that lane in order for the speed demons to get their tickets?  Don't you remember that?  Or were you that kid that was sleeping in the back of the room during that movie...yeah thats what I thought.  Thanks a lot butthead.  Anyways, your inability to drive over 50 mph in the left lane not only forces me to obey the law, which I do not appreciate, but you are forcing every other person behind me to obey the law.  Way to be a controlling, manipulative driver.  Not appreciated.  Please take your law-abiding ways to the right lane and let the people who are funding the police department do their civic duty and speed and get tickets.  But honestly, driving 50 mph on 7100?  Where are you from?  Idaho?  In only a few minutes, I shall be once again joining the throngs of people returning from work and all I have to say is this:  LETS GOOOOO!!!!

I'd also like to give a shoutout to my Hoos and Redskins for wins this weekend.  You make me very proud. :)

Do you have any driving stories that you'd like to share with the class?  Feel free!  I appreciate comments.  It makes me feel special.

Friday, September 9, 2011

All For One and One For All

I absolutely love The Three Musketeers.  It has been one of my favorite works since I was a kid and although this new movie version looks almost too over the top, I'll take it and I'll definitely be seeing it.  Enjoy!

And Then There Was Light

First, I would like to say, Happy 33rd Anniversary parentals.  Who woulda thunk it.

Secondly, I would also like to wish my cousin Christina a very happy sweet 16!  I wish you only the best and I am so thankful that I was able to help you celebrate your very special day.

Finally, for the first time in what feels like forever, the SUN IS FINALLY OUT!!!  I had almost forgotten what the heat of the sun felt like on my face.  Now that I've remembered, I've decided to spend my last week day as an unemployed person sunbathing.  Surprise.  But seriously, I don't want to look like one of those office building vampires who only see the sunlight when they go to take out their garbage or get their mail.  I gotta be true to my Greek roots and embrace the tan. :)

For real though, the rain the past couple of days has been NUTS!  Check out this photo that my friend Erinn tweeted last night. Now I'm not entirely sure where she got the photo from but what I can tell you is that this photo was taken on Sunset Hills Rd in Reston, VA.  That is approximately 4 miles from where I live.  I think the rain gods may be having a little too much fun.

Also, because I wasn't at home this past weekend, I wasn't able to congratulate my HOOS ON A VICTORY OVER WILLIAM AND MARY!!!!!!  WAHOOWA!  Honestly, if you guys had lost AGAIN to those sober twits from Williamsburg, shit was gonna go down.  For realz.  With that said, best of luck this weekend against Indiana.  If y'all don't win, well, lets just say that you'll probably find me in the Fairfax County morgue.  Ok Hoos, let's really work for two wins.  It's difficult for you, I know, but seriously, two wins puhleaseeee. I'd like to go 5-5 at least and that means that you all are required to win the easy ass games in your FREAKING BEAT INDIANA!  kthanx.  Oh, and CMB, you all are awesome.  I just watched the video.  Great job!  :)  It feels weird that I'm not in their with you, but you all made me proud.  Again, well done.

Here's also an update on what I was up to all day yesterday.  For those of you who didn't know, I was at a 9/11 Summit, hosted by the Center for National Policy at the Newseum in DC.  The Summit was an all-day invitational affair that revolved around four documentaries and a series of panels that dealt not only with the actual events of September 11th, but also on the events that occurred afterwards, such as the Wounded Warrior Program which has gained a tremendous amount of recognition since the start of the War on Terrorism and the courageous acts of the people of Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina and the Oil Spill.  I will have another post, hopefully soon, that will deal primarily with what was discussed during this event.  I am not doing this because I feel the need to record what occurred but rather that certain issues and ideas were expressed that the American public should think about, especially on the 10th Anniversary of September 11th.  I cannot truly express just how honored I was to be at that event and have the opportunity to listen to the ideas of such profound and intelligent thinkers.  I may not have necessarily agreed with all of the opinions that were being expressed, but I could not have been more happy that such differing opinions were able to share the same stage and discuss their views in a respectable and intellectual venue.  The main themes of the event were Remembrance, Renewal, and Resilience...with particular emphasis on Resilience.  As with most bloggers, I am currently working on a 9/11 blog post with my own thoughts and feelings.  Again, this is not necessarily because I feel that somehow my thoughts and opinions and memories of the event are somehow more important than others, but rather because it seems to me that it is the elephant in the room.  It changed our lives profoundly, it changed the way our nation thinks, acts, and defines itself and yet, the very topic seems almost taboo.  Somehow I feel that by first reflecting upon the memories, not only of the day, but of the days afterwards, perhaps we can start to gain a better understanding of just what this means to us, as a nation, community, and individuals, and then begin to learn from it and perhaps teach our children, siblings, and younger relatives and friends what we think it means.  It's not enough to think back on the event and go, it's awful, but rather why it was so awful, how did we react, why did we react the way we did, and how that reaction has driven us to where we are today.  I do not know how many of you have seen the photos from the World Trade Center  memorial, but I think that memorial speaks volumes to the way in which the United States understands September 11th.  If you wanna share your story, memories, or feelings about 9/11, please feel free to do so.  I think its long overdue that my generation actually talk about it.

Alright, this wasn't exactly the most fascinating blog post but don't worry, I'm gonna be writing up about my uncle's wedding from last weekend soon and if anyone of you have ever heard me tell stories about my family, well let me just tell ya, this one takes the cake.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Quick Question

Alright dear readers I have a quick question for you.  A few weeks ago I piled about 7 books on my desk and decided that I was going to read them from top to bottom.  Now I'm nearing the bottom and looking for more books to read.  I've been seeing a lot of hype on The Hunger Games and I read a quick synopsis and it actually looks pretty interesting.  Post-apocolyptic story with a Greek mythology twist (Theseus and the Minotaur anyone?)...seems up my alley.  Has anyone read it/would recommend it?  Thanks a billion-trillion-times infinity plus one.  Ok, this may be why I want to read it.

Completely irrelevant update:

So I applied for a certain job in the middle of June and had not heard back from them for about two months so understandably I thought that I had been rejected.  Just when I had completely forgotten that I had in fact applied to said job, I get an email saying that they had received my application and were presently reviewing it.  Well thats fantastic.  I only sent it over their mail server over two months before.  Why yes, I do believe that means that I was perhaps questioning their technological abilities.  But I'd just like to let you all know that I am now no longer questioning their abilities.  Now I'm just thoroughly confused.  If someone sent you the same exact email every day for a week and a half, would you interpret that to mean that they are in fact technologically retarded, brain dead, or that they consider you to be one of the former two options?  I cannot decide whether I am insulted that they believe me to be incapable of understanding a three line email or whether I should be concerned that they may in fact be brain-dead.  Either way, I am most glad that they managed to send me my obligatory email before midnight.  I would have felt neglected without it.

I think sitting at home has made me brain dead.  Brilliant.

Geeking Out

Ok so as per usual with me, I'm completely geeking out, except this time with some future musical info.  If you knew me in high school then you know that I'm pretty into musical theatre.  I kinda kept it on the DL in college, but my passion never abated.  In the last few days on I've noticed two musicals posts that almost made me pee my pants.  Surrriously.

#1: LES MIS MOVIE IS COMING!!!  If any of you haven't listened to the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert in youtube, you are missing out.  Please, increase the beauty of your life and go to youtube and watch some of the videos.  There's some serious awesomeness occurring.  Anyways, here's the article and a video from the 25th Anniversary Concert
Les Mis Possible Casting...personally I'd like to see Anne Hathaway as Fantine rather than Amy Adams.  Its not that I don't think Amy Adams could do it, but I think that I'll always see her as Giselle from Enchanted and I think I'll have a hard time picturing her as anything but sweet and adorable.  Yes, I know she was in the Fighter.  She was awesome.  It still doesn't change how I see her.  Also, I would just like to remind the writers at that Geoffrey Rush was Javert in the film adaptation of Les Mis, but I agree, he would be a pretty hilarious Thénardier.

#2: NEWSIES MUSICAL!  I have loved this awful B-film musical since I was in middle school and I can't tell you just how excited I am that they are making this into a Broadway musical.  I can't even imagine just how ridiculous this is gonna be, but there had better be a ridiculous amount of dancing and if King of New York is taken out, I may consider boycotting for a hot second.

#3: This isn't a musical, but check out the photo from the new AVENGERS film.  Some of my favorite hotties all in one spot.  Cannot wait for this film.

I'll be out of town for the rest of the weekend, so all I've gotta say is GO HOOS!!! Let's try and beat William and Mary this time.  I know, very difficult for a D1 school to beat the D2 school, but let's put on our best game face and kick some ass this time!  For realz, WWTJD

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

There and Back Again

I meant to post this a while ago but didn't get around to it.  If you're as big a nerd as me, then you're not gonna be able to stop smiling while watching this Hobbit film production video.  Can't wait until Peter Jackson posts another one!

or this link from the official blog (yes, I do follow it)

Monday, August 29, 2011

The Graduate

Why hello...long time no blog.  I feel like the majority of my posts are beginning more and more like this.  I really should update more often but it seems kind of silly to promise that, so instead I will say unto you few readers that I shall try to update more often. Try not. Do or do not.  There is no try.- Yoda.  Yes, my mind automatically went there.

So for the majority of the summer I've been trying to gain a greater understanding of how to successfully bridge the gap between being a college a student and being a real person.  Some people bridged this gap by immediately starting jobs and creating a new life which revolves around their office lives.  Pretty intelligent.  They've immersed themselves into a new culture at an early age and therefore gain an advantage over the rest of us who have yet to really start into the workforce.  I admire and respect these people greatly.  Its a terrifying thing to delve into a new culture, especially after being thrust from your previous one with the graduation ceremonies.  Others have dealt with the transition by not dealing with the transition at all and have rather remained in school.  Personally thats the choice that I wish that I had chosen.  Its simpler and retains a semblance of constancy which seems somewhat nonexistent when starting a "career."  Ok, that last part came out wrong.  Those people aren't wimps by any stretch of the imagination.  I actually think that it is just as difficult to start at a new academic institute as it is to start a new job.  

Well, you're probably asking, why the hell did you just write that.  Why did you just waste 30 seconds of my reading time with that?  The answer is: I once again don't really fit into any of those categories.  I have yet to start to work and in order to get my school fix I decided to volunteer with my high school's marching band.  Yep, I'm that person and I'm proud of it.  It has definitely been one of the best decisions I've made this year.  You'd think after 8 years of marching that teaching and helping out with a marching band would be a piece of cake...well you're wrong.  It is probably one of the most difficult things I've done in a long time.  First off, I completely forgot just how awkward high school was.  I think my brain did me a favor by blocking out the majority of my awkward memories, but there are some that just never seem to go away...yeah, if you were an awkward kid like me, and lets be real, who wasn't, then you know what kind of memories I'm talking about.  You know, the ones that involve the ridiculously awkward conversation about something that you think that you understand, only to later realize that you had no idea what the hell you were talking about.  Or the ones that involve you word-vomiting all over yourself.  Or the ones that involve you having an out of body experience...when you look at yourself and are screaming to yourself to just run away and lock yourself in a dark room before you say or do the stupid thing that you're inevitably going to do.  Well, good thing the majority of us didn't have Facebook during my high school years...and those that did, well we didn't really know what to do with it...thank goodness.  Truly, I think some high schoolers are so much tamer because they fear that whatever they do will end up on Facebook or twitter or youtube...a respectable fear.  Ok quick question: can someone please explain to me guys obsession with cross-dressing and why they think its funny.  Honestly, its so gross.  I don't want to see girls in tight skirts and jeans so what makes you think that I want to see you with your junk hanging out of those same tight skirts and jeans...its just not attractive.  But all in all, its quite an amazing learning experience and I have enjoyed every moment of it.  Who woulda guessed that I'd be the one going back to volunteer?  So this post wasn't as awesome as some of my others but I'm trying to get back into the swing of it so please keep with me as I attempt to locate my voice once again.

Oh, btw, Sweet Frogs.  The pink and green.  I feel like if my sorority wasn't an animal house that thats what it would look like.  Seriously, you puked Delta Zeta and Lily Pulitzer.  Ew.  Why?  Just...why?  Do us all a favor, please refrain from your outlandish obsession with those two colors.  You are giving the combination a bad name and for those of us who have only recently accepted the beauty of the pink and green color combination, you are forcing us back to our original love of non-feminine color combinations.  Help future Delta Zetas and Lily Pulitzer lovers out there and stop using pink and green in such an atrocious manner.  

A lover of the ridiculous amounts of yogurt toppings you offer

P.S.  Can you please have scales so I can know before I pay if I'm eating and paying for my weight in yogurt and yogurt toppings.  Much appreciated.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

My life as a former college student

My life is basically in limbo right now.  I'm not a college student, I'm kind of employed, and its the summer and I'm just kind of chilling but I'm not technically on summer break.  So I'm kind of in this bizarre place of not really knowing where I am.  As one of my childhood friends put it, "I basically feel like I'm retired."  A very odd feeling.  Nor have I completed a third of what I set out to do.  Oh procrastination, how you've come back to haunt me.

Right now I am attempting to turn my childhood bedroom into something more acceptable for a 22 year old adult.  The merging of my college room and my childhood bedroom is not going as smoothly as I had tricked myself into believing  hoped.  Right now I'm working on the disaster that is my bookshelves.  I realized just how obsessed I am with my books and more interestingly, my notebooks from school, that I cannot rationalize getting rid of any of them.  Ok thats a lie.  There are some books that I absolutely have no problem getting rid of (Sabato, cough).  I managed to clean out one room of my crap and now its all sitting on my floor.

Oh bookshelves why does your clutter and ability to stump me seem to define my life at the moment.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

And It Follows Me

And I thought that this only happened to me in Charlottesville.  Well folks, I'm sitting in Starbucks in Northern Virginia and once again people, weird, odd people, feel the need to sit on top of me.  Although the Starbucks is relatively full, there are multiple large tables empty...away from me.

Also, I believe whole-heartedly in the clean air act.  Really, I do.  I believe that it is a great cause that I believe many people do not fully appreciate.  So, to the extraordinarily smelly man sitting next to me.  Please, do us all a favor, and take a shower.  You are carrying an Italian briefcase.  You can afford to take a shower.  So please, enforce the clean air act and help America smell more beautiful.  But really, I came in here because I like the smell of coffee...not your BO.

Oh, and also to Mr Odorman, just in case you didn't notice, the man sitting across from you is not wearing a hearing currently he's not hard of hearing, but let me tell you something: after you've screamed in his face for about twenty minutes, he will be.  So here's a tip when you're trying to gain a new client: take a shower and stop screaming in the poor man's face.  You will truly enhance your life.  Best of luck to you Mr Odorman.

P.S. You should enact upon these new concepts immediately.  No, but really, you should want to make your life better as soon as now.  kthanx.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Hello From a New Location

Hello all!  So here's basically the breakdown of my life in the last couple of weeks: I graduated from the University of Virginia, went to Maine, came back, and now I'm chilling at home in Northern Virginia trying to get my life together.  Oh, and I basically deactivated facebook.  I'm thinking about only using it to show people that I've updated my blog but we'll see.

So for the last few weeks, I've been trying to figure out a possible location to people watch from and at first I really wasn't coming up with anything.  Today I arrived at my local Starbucks and boom, found the perfect location.  This place is absolutely jammed and I've been here for about an hour already.  Its filled with college-aged students, stay-at-home moms, computer geek dads, random out of work people, and an assortment of the local flavor.  Can't wait for the high schoolers to walk in after 2:30.  Starbucks is seriously the new fourth floor of Clemons...or perhaps the fourth floor of Clemons copied Starbucks...?  No idea.  Anyways, I found my new location so be ready NoVA.  You're about to be watched. :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Who's an Orc?

Yes I am updating twice in one day.  No, that is not why this post is titled "Pure Evil."  I will get to that in a moment.  First, I would like to do my customary rant about people and this in the library.  First to the girl in the cute sweater that was at one point sitting across from me.  Now, as many of you know, I do not normally appreciate people sitting across from me and normally all I do is rant and complain about just how annoying and ridiculous they are.  This is usually the case, but this girl was actually quite pleasant to sit across from.  She kept her space, she had on a cute outfit, and she smelled nice.  A+ in my book.  Then she moved seats.  To the back of the room.  Say whaaat???  Did I do something this time? That thought lasted one second.  She sat in the back for a bit and then proceeded to move to the front of the room?  I would say its because she needed an outlet, but she's reading a book...and the chairs are all exactly the same.  Truly a puzzling case.  Second, Greenberrys, I do not appreciate the fact that you increased your coffee prices.  Don't think I didn't notice.  You are manipulating the fact that we, the poor college students of whom your continued existence is based upon, need to spend obnoxious amounts of time in the library in order to pass our strenuous and awful exams.  I feel that I have been wronged in a serious manner.  This is not ok and I have thus decided to boycott you for the next two days that I am here in Charlottesville.  It will make a huge difference.  You wait and see.

Now, the reason that I feel the need to entitle this blog post "Pure Evil" is because I have just been privy to the most heinous form of treachery.  My dear friend who read my previous blog post has decided that it would be a terrific idea to watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies.  I applaud her for her excellent selection in movies, but then she proceeded to tell me this information.  While I'm stuck in the library.  Staring at my computer screen.  Not writing my final undergraduate paper (I'm in denial on that btw).  True.treachery.Pure.Evil.  There is nothing I want more in the world than to watch LOTR and read The Hobbit.  Now I get to imagine her watching the movies.  Enjoying it.  Laughing.  Crying.  The full range of emotions.  Truly, this is akin to Bilbo trying to trick Smaug into letting him into his lair to steal his treasure; or Bilbo tricking Gollum so that he could have the One Ring.  Wow, Bilbo, you really became quite the liar during that book.  Anyways, happiness was stolen from those poor, misunderstood characters.  (ok Smaug was not poor, get over it)  I would throw an orc at her if she were nearby.  Maybe a goblin.  Goblins are lighter.  Yeah definitely a goblin.  ANYWAYS, something ugly and evil would be thrown and it would be epic.  Picture that.  Me with goblin hurling it across the room where it hits its target Legolas style.  A truly fantastic image.  Keep that with you always.

Damn you paper.  I shall vanquish you.  You shall not defeat me.  I am the master of my fate.  I am the captain of my soul.

Btw this is much more enjoyable than actually writing my paper.  If my paper goes according to plan (which means that I shall probably not start writing it until later today), then I shall be able to write a tremendous paper on how Spanish identity reminds me of Gollum and other Lord of the Rings type things.  Or perhaps Star Wars or Harry Potter.  Have no fear, it will not be about Spain.

An orc is an elf turned evil.  Take that as you will.


Oops, I haven't updated in forever.  I apologize.  Have no fear, I am currently unemployed and will therefore probably have nothing better to do with my time after college than update my blog.  Beware if you live in Fairfax, if I catch you doing anything odd, I shall probably write about you.  :)

Now, as the title of my blog indicates, I am truly a contradiction (but really, who isn't?).  I judge people on my blog for not following social etiquette and yet I rarely follow my own advice.

Here is an example of my contradictory self.  While "writing" a paper on Spanish identity as "schizophrenic," (a term I personally dislike to the fullest), I decided that I should focus my attention on emphasizing a part of my own personal identity that has gone by the wayside since I've been in college.  Now, if you knew me in high school, then this will not surprise you at all.  Yes, I did actually cry in my room when I watched this because I was so happy and so excited.  If you don't feel that way, you are an orc.  Really.

The Hobbit.  My favorite book of all time.  : )

Monday, April 4, 2011


After many miserable days in which it seemed like we lived in Hoth System, we have finally returned to beautiful, beautiful weather!!!! With that being said, for all of you losers sitting inside, GET YOUR BUTTS OUTDOORS! I don't know if you've noticed, but the weather around here is kinda shifty soooo, get outside and get some fresh air.  It'll definitely do you some good.  And to all of you people with your leather backpacks and bags, have no fear, I will be joining you shortly, but until that time I am thoroughly jealous of your coolness.  You will be inferior once I bring back out my Florentine leather messenger bag.  Can't beat Florentine leather suckerssssss.  I must question the sanity of some of people sitting outside of Clemons though.  I am in a turquoise romper (thats right, laugh.  it looks hott on me, you're just jealous) and I had to take off my sweater because I was sweating.  Here's my crazy, but extraordinarily logical explanation (at least for me) as to why you are sitting like that.  You are obviously a vampire.  Look dude, embrace who are you.  Take that scarf off and let your body sparkleeeee! It's really ok.  Honestly, I don't even really think people will notice.  Vampires are kinda last year.  So seriously, just embrace your vampireness...although on second thought I would appreciate it if you refrained from embracing all aspects of your know like the part about sucking humans blood.  Embrace your body, just not all of your cravings.  Self-restraint is a good thing.  Thanks.

P.S. Who else thinks Water for Elephants looks FANTASTIC!?!  Cant wait!

Movie post or inspirational quote post next?  You know that it won't necessarily be what you think either way.  Opinions/thoughts/suggestions/love and admiration?  All of the above is appreciated.

GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE FUN! Be a five year old and run around on the lawn.  Play tag.  Play ladder ball and drink a beer (ok maybe five years don't do that.  lame asses.) Wear a sundress.  LET YOUR LEGS BE FREE! Aka, go and have fun and enjoy this weather while it lasts before it turns back into the Hoth System

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I blame this on you Alfred the Great

As usual I am updating my blog because I have deemed it a worthy enterprise than doing required reading for a class. In my defense, I have actually read this book twice before so I mean, technically, I've done the reading. Anyways, I am once again in the library. I know. Bet you werent expecting that! Ha. Anyways, I began to realize a series of emotions that I really shouldn't have in reference to a particular object. I go from longing, to excitement, to anxiety, to fear, and then utter joy, a sense of euphoria if you please, in a short range of time. Seriously, I am may explode from the flood of emotions that come from this experience. Oh and anger is sometimes the dominant emotion at the end. It truly is a heaven or hell situation. Anyways, have you figured it out yet? The one object that demands more of my emotions than most alcohol induced night?

It's the god damn vending machine!

But really, whoever created the vending machine has a sick sense of humor. You were the kid that got the crap beaten out of you on the playground weren't you? You made it so the big dudes couldn't get the small piece of candy out of the machine. You made it so that they would have to attack the inanimate object, yell, and scream, and cry and pound just to get a small, sweet, and savory treat out of it. Well, let me tell you. The joke is over. I did not beat you up on the playground and normally I would have defended you but now? Ohhh now, you have officially been entered into my eternal damnation list. You and your machine. And I will crusade against your unjust actions. This is war. A war for justice, peace, and eternal happiness free from the repression of an inanimate object who's inadequacy attempt to destroy my happiness. Well I will stand for it no longer. This is war vending machine. And I will win. Be afraid. Be very afraid vending machine.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How Unfortunate

So, instead of reading for my Art and Anthropology I was creepily checking out guys in the library as per usual.  Lets be honest, the people are around me are far more interesting than Pomo basket weaving and seriously, isn't anthropology all about observation and being part of the human community.  Kinda hard to do that when I'm reading a book.  Anyways, under that bull shit pretense I spotted two very adorable first, maybe second, year boys.  Mr Cocoa-colored hair was very interesting to watch until he did something absolutely horrific to my day dreaming as to who he was.  He stretched.  Now normally, this would not bother me in the least, but this stretch was just not normal.  Actually, it was terrifying.  While stretching, he emitted the loudest, most barbaric (yes, I went there anthro nerds) sound.  I felt a chill down my spine and instead of immediately hiding underneath my desk which was my first reaction, I decided to get a better look.  The next sound that came out of him may perhaps have been a yawn for some but for me it sounded like a Wookie crying at the take-over of their planet, like at the end of Episode III.  Now, normally this would have made me sympathize with him but this kid is not a wookie.  He's not even hairy.  Now, all I can think of when I look at him is that he needs to be giant and hairy (a walking carpet comes to mind) and to be honest, the amount of hair that I'm talking about it just not attractive.  So I ceased my stalking of former beauty #1 and continued onto to potential daydream man #2.  At first I thought he was an engineer, staring intently at his computer screen and then, of course, I had to see what he was working on because, let's be honest, it has to be more interesting than reading about Pomo basket weaving.  Anything should be more interesting than Pomo basket weaving.  Well, not that this isn't interesting but seriously, Dungeons and Dragons?  Dude, that was so 90s.  Pick up on what's cool nerd stuff.  So disappointed.  Congrats unfortunate specimens of the male sex, you have officially deterred me from creepily looking at people in the library.  Pomo basket weaving will be far less disappointing than you.  You should be ashamed. (note sarcasm...but not really)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Febreeze please?

Alright, its the week before spring break and I've basically been stuck in the library with everyone else who seems to have a shit ton of crap to do this week.  I have 3 exams in 24 hours.  So, as per usual, I will ace one while failing the other two.  Props to me.  Anyways, I would like to comment on few things that should be known as basic etiquette in the library.

1) This is a library.  You know, where books are housed and people study.  I mean, yeah, there are tables in there, but these tables are not your dining room table and you're not at a restaurant.  You have some serious issues if you order an entire Chinese feast and sit at a table in Clemons Library eating it with three of your friends and then, once the meal is over, you all get up and leave.  No like really, you don't have tables or common rooms you could go eat?  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Chinese food, but only when I'm eating it because let's be honest, it actually smells disgusting.  So to you person who just ordered and opened some awful smelling Chinese food and have now proceeded to let it fall over your shirt, its 9:00 PM, it is not meal time nor is it appropriate snack time for Chinese food.  The only thing I want to smelling right now are books and my wonderful Ralph Lauren Romance perfume.  My recently shampooed hair is in front of my hair at this very moment in order that I might smell the lusciousness that is my hair instead of your smelly food.  I would rather look like Cousin It then smell your food.  You should be ashamed.

2) If you've ever been in Clemons Library, then you know that the fourth floor has booths off to one side next to the huge windows.  Now, there are not a lot of these booths and are thus a scarce, precious, and therefore rare commodity and must therefore be treated with great respect.  So you can imagine my disdain at seeing a booth with books and backpack in it, but no person...for over an hour and a half.  I understand saving your seat but thats just plain evil.  Way to be a colonial oppressor.  I, a native of the library, wish to obtain a seat that as a fourth year should rightfully be mine, but you have taken that opportunity away from me.  Nor do I appreciate the kid that sits on the table of one of these booths laughing and giggling with his friends while no one is sitting there.  It's seriously like you're mocking me.  It's just not ok.  I am sitting here, in my little spot near the booths, looking longingly over at your basically empty booth while you seat on its table laughing and joking around.  Kid, you are cruisin for a bruisin,

3) Just saw a girl with a pillow leave and come back with a blanket in tow.  oh.shit.

New business idea: rent air mattresses, pillows, and blankets to the lifeless souls pulling all-nighters in Clemons.  Genius.  You all would be in such a zombie-like state that you would have no idea what you were paying for.  MWAHAHAHAHA.

I will be here all.night.long.


Friday, February 25, 2011

The Anti-Climatic Update

Yooo whats up internet world.  Alright so this blog post is not the epic awesome blog post that I had previously promised.  Eventually that blog post will go up, but for right now I will just have to disappoint you and update you on my life which has taken a pretty crazy turn.  Ok, so a lot of you knew that I was intending on continuing my education immediately after college.  Well, I have officially changed my mind and decided to take a stab at the real world and get a real job.  God help America.  Anyways, it seriously feels like a giant weight has just been lifted off of my shoulders so I know that I've made the right decision. Awesomeness.

Ok here's a little taste of what my epic, semi-serious blog post will be about.  For the past few years I've been reading online newspapers like,,, huffington get the picture and I realized that no matter what else was going on in the world, I always made it a point to read about anything that had to do with the American education system.  When I realized this, I justified my constantly going immediately to these articles because I am currently in the American education system and therefore seem much more immediate and real to me than articles complaining about Obama or the economy or basically anything that had to do with real life (note that my most frequented website after my e-mail and facebook is so you can just see how I view my reality).  I also realized that I was getting furious with a lot of the articles concerning education in American colleges and universities, but mostly because they're making this assumption that because we don't seem to be testing well, we are therefore idiots.  I keep on reading articles talking about how our generation knows less than previous generations, that we have no sense of community, that we've lost touch with the real world, that we have all of these anxiety and psychological issues which is caused by our bullying nature and high competition.  Everything I keep on reading in these articles makes us seem like we're a self-destructive generation that has no hope of turning America around.  Yet, I can't help but be infuriated by what is being written because we're being judged by people outside of our generation who are basing their analysis on specific and fantastic events.  We're being judged by people who have not gone through what we have.  I've read a few articles claiming that we don't have the same "American" spirit as before.  Well let me tell you something.  No shit we're different than previous generations. We didn't grow up in the same world as our parents or grandparents.  We have a war that the majority of us don't understand nor support but this isn't our Vietnam.  We have a recession but this isn't our Great Depression.  Basically, what I'm gonna do in the blog post that I keep on promising is attempt to understand what it means to be in our generation and I guess my whole point is that we, as a generation, need to stop being ok with the fact that these "outsiders" are attempting to define us.  They're attempting to give us an identity which does not in fact depict us at all.  Maybe its time that we start depicting what it really means to be a part of our generation so we can stop having people define it for us.  If you do not want to read anything that has to do with that, then I recommend that you be cautious about reading my next few blog posts.  Thanks for being patient with me as I try to grasp who we are.

"Not all those who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkein

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Big Update Coming Soon

I haven't forgotten about the blog. I'm working on a post that is a little different from what I normally write on, so please deal with me because my brain is a little preoccupied at the moment with how to word my big blog post. But in other news, I body-painted myself in blue and had a handprint on my face Braveheart style and ran around in the freezing cold last night in a sports bra, body paint, and workout pants. No I have no rational for it and under normal circumstances, if I were on the other side looking at the scene we made last night, I would have been seriously disturbed and probably would have written about how stupid those people were. But the reality is that the fact that is was insane is what made it so much fun. Sometimes the release from the everyday is just what you need. Over and out.

Monday, February 14, 2011

oh no you didn'tttt

OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST HEAD BUTT THE BACK OF MY HEAD BECAUSE YOUR HEAD-BANGING!!!! An apology is in order, like now. Oh and freak, when you just sneezed, you actually ended up flinging your back so hard into the booth that you knocked me forward and I hit my elbow on the table in front of me. You are not on my good list, sir.

Also, congratulations to the new SDT pledge class!!! And for all of you lazy butts reading this. STOP READING AND GO OUTSIDE! ITS BEAUTIFUL!!! That is all. Go eat chocolate shaped like hearts.

Oh and kid, you put your hand up near my face again, I might just high-five it just to freak you out.

What is that noiseeee

Alright kid sitting behind me in Clemons. Just in case you haven't noticed, our seats are connected, so every time you start jumping up and down to your favorite song or because you feel the need to jump out of your seat and correct your friend sitting across from you, you're making the seat move up...kinda like a waterbed. Similar situation except I seriously don't want to be there with you. No but really, you've gotta be twice my weight, so please, keep your head bobbing and jumping up and down on your seat to a minimum. You're not five and jumping on your bed at home. Oh, and I seriously don't wanna listen to your weird ass techno music so if you could kindly turn your music down as well, that'd be great. Also, whistling to techno music...really? Do you know just how wrong that is? How the hell are you supposed to feel the intensity that is so powerful in techno music when you're whistling to it like you're freakin Bing Crosby. Seriously kid, you've got some serious audio issues.

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! It's beautiful outside! In words of Alyssa: Weather, you are my Valentine! Oh and I definitely ran this morning before I went to the library. I just patted myself on the back.

Friday, February 11, 2011

New Things

So the last 24 hours have been full of trying new things for me.

1) I have a new background.  If you haven't already noticed then you are either one, colorblind or two, possibly mentally retarded.

2) I bought the new Crest Whitening Strips.  One of my housemates has been using them and her teeth look ridiculously white now.  Not like Ross on Friends white, although that would be kinda cool, but like actually white.  And seeing as I drink multiple cups of coffee every day it would probably be beneficial for me to whiten my teeth.  It would also be beneficial for anyone who is friends with me on facebook and has to see photos of my not so white teeth.  So basically I'm doing this for humanity.  Your welcome.

3) I was introduced to Pinterest.  My productivity was already at an all time low but this will indeed assure my academic failure.  Your welcome Camerron.  Seriously check it out.  It is my new obsession.  You can find beautiful and random photos such as this:

Good bye supposed reality.  I already live in a fantasy world.  Pinterest is merely reenforcing it.  Its a beautiful thing that I shall embrace it and voyage into my new reality.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

...something new

I was getting bored of the previous background and I was kinda feeling down in the dumps (thanks winter) so I thought I'd make my blog look a bit brighter and happier, especially as I am usually writing to complain about dumb people, this happier background seemed to fit better with the title of my blog.  What do you think?

A big hello from my iPhone

Why hello Internet world. I just downloaded a new app to my iPhone which will allow me to further annoy you all by my new ability to create posts via my iPhone! Yay technology and progress.

Basically I'm bored out of my mind in the library having finished my reading of aethelbert's laws for my discussion which won't take place for another 45 minutes. So instead of continuing my 30 game winning streak on solitaire, I thought I'd bother you all with my boredom. Typing on my phone like this made me think of this girl that I've seen about 30-40 times in the last two semesters at Clemons. I've seen her there at all hours of the day, on different floors, and with different people, but the most consistent thing about her is that I have never seen her with a book or a laptop. She comes in and sits in a chair, always with a friend or a group of friends next to her, and she either talks to them or talks on her phone. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with talking jn Clemons but last time I checked, club clem was a derrogatory nickname given to the library because we all so don't want to be there at 2 am on a Monday night. No but really blonde phone talking nerd, you really should reevaluate your life because your phone bill must be ridiculous and honestly, there is NO WAY you have such important things to say that you must speak every second of every day. Here's something my mom taught me: you have two ears and one mouth. Listen more than you speak. Try it out! It may just help you out.

Alright let's see if this posts!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

je ne sais pas

Oh hey.  So like I said my previous posting, I'm trying to post about things that don't piss me off so that I don't seem to be in desperate need of anger management.  So basically, I've decided that normal postings will not be posted on twitter and facebook and more substantial, obnoxious posts that will probably have me institutionalized will be posted on twitter and facebook.  Yes, I know, absolutely genius reasoning.  Have no fear if you don't quite understand my rationale at the moment.  You will probably never understand it.  Kinda like George Mentore's class.  Pretty positive there are some things that he says that I will never understand nor want to understand.  I've decided that this is not necessarily a bad thing as I'm pretty sure that he's not quite sure what he's saying half the time because he asks us what we think and our responses are all pretty similar and then he says that we were all wrong.  I'm calling shenanigans.  Kinda like how I called shenanigans on the dude I was on the phone with at CVS pharmacy.  I hope that was his first day because I'm pretty positive that I may have known more about prescriptions and how to refill them than he did.  The sad thing was that I was reading my prescription bottle.  So does that logically mean that he can't read?  Haven't quite figured that part out yet.  Anyways, I'm going to bed early tonight because I'm really freakin tired.  I'll explain my lack of energy when I understand it.  Also, I lied yesterday on twitter.  I will actually be starting my daily work outs tomorrow.  I will let you, my bored shitless readers, if this actually occurs.

P.S. I got my cap and gown yesterday.  I tried to pretend that it was for my friend and that I was in fact a second year.  I may be in serious denial.  Typical.  At least I didn't lie and say my name was Emma again.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Impossible Order

Hello world!  Sorry for the lack of updates for the last few months.  Have no fear, I have not suddenly become soft and lost my judgmental glasses in which I view the rest of the world.  I just keep on forgetting to update my blog whenever I see things of note, so I have decided that this blog shall be my constant cynical ramblings describing the world around me.  Note: I am not actually a cynical person, but for some reason my writing seems to flow much smoother when I'm ranting about something or someone. So, prepare yourself for some new updates in my life and in the world around me.

I would like to update my readers on one thing.  Just so you all know, in case you didn't, chocolate is technically caffeinated and when you order a decaf mocha at Starbucks or at Greenberry's, you are actually asking for something impossible because mocha is actually a combination of coffee and chocolate.  In other words, please don't get angry at the barista when you ask for a decaf mocha and they tell you that's impossible because honestly, they really wanna tell you that you're a moron.  Also, please don't proceed to scream at them and tell them to just make the coffee decaf because chocolate is caffeinated as well.  If they finally agree to your insane request, they've put decaf coffee and caffeinated chocolate in your drink, and therefore your drink is caffeinated.  You.Are.Caffeine.Retarded.  Now that we have established this, please buy yourself a cone of silence, move to the side of the line, and allow me to order my normal, 5-7 word long drink order that actually exists.  Thanks.