Wednesday, June 8, 2011

And It Follows Me

And I thought that this only happened to me in Charlottesville.  Well folks, I'm sitting in Starbucks in Northern Virginia and once again people, weird, odd people, feel the need to sit on top of me.  Although the Starbucks is relatively full, there are multiple large tables empty...away from me.

Also, I believe whole-heartedly in the clean air act.  Really, I do.  I believe that it is a great cause that I believe many people do not fully appreciate.  So, to the extraordinarily smelly man sitting next to me.  Please, do us all a favor, and take a shower.  You are carrying an Italian briefcase.  You can afford to take a shower.  So please, enforce the clean air act and help America smell more beautiful.  But really, I came in here because I like the smell of coffee...not your BO.

Oh, and also to Mr Odorman, just in case you didn't notice, the man sitting across from you is not wearing a hearing currently he's not hard of hearing, but let me tell you something: after you've screamed in his face for about twenty minutes, he will be.  So here's a tip when you're trying to gain a new client: take a shower and stop screaming in the poor man's face.  You will truly enhance your life.  Best of luck to you Mr Odorman.

P.S. You should enact upon these new concepts immediately.  No, but really, you should want to make your life better as soon as now.  kthanx.

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