Tuesday, November 30, 2010
December Is Upon Us
So for the majority of the American population, the time after Thanksgiving is a time of joy and happiness as the holiday season rolls in. For the American college student, the weeks after Thanksgiving are ones of library groaning and excessive coffee drinking as Finals Period arrives. I have officially witnessed the first cases of finals madness or librariphobia. This is when people who normally do not work in the library suddenly join the ranks of regular library patrons and therefore have no idea how to behave themselves. There is also another form of this, which includes the people who are on the verge of a nervous-breakdown, have about 3-4 venti coffee cups near them and are flipping through books so fast that the viewer actually becomes jittery and anxious just by watching. The first type of person was heard by myself and all the other patrons of the East Wing in Alderman. Think back in your childhood. Remember when you used to hide under the covers and you thought it was a brilliant spot because you used the logic: If I can't see you, you can't see me? Well, it didn't work then and honestly, speaking is just as bad. Just because you're right outside the quiet room with no door, does not mean that we can't hear you inside the quiet room. Actually, because you're talking next to a quiet room, we can hear you all the better. Oh, and if you insist of having your moronic conversation about sitting in the library with other guys, please have it with people that you did not just meet coming out of the boys bathroom. Seriously, not only rude but actually disgusting. Just FYI, not only was I judging you, but I made about 10 judging friends because we were all laughing at you and your idiocy. I seriously hope that you're book smart because your common sense is lacking. The second type of person is once again sitting at my table. Surprise surprise. This man has about 4 venti coffee cups next to him and I'm pretty positive that he hasn't shaved in about 3 days. He left the table for about 30 minutes and returned with approximately 15 books. Instead of placing them on the table, he, in his coffee induced spasms, threw the books on the table. In the 5 minutes that I've been writing this, he's flipped through about half of the books at a speed which makes me think that there's gotta be cartoons on the edges of the pages. There is no other way he is gaining any sort of information from those books. Perhaps the cartoon is a synopsis of the book. If so, I would gladly flip through books that fast, yet somehow I'm calling shenanigans. Also, if you are one of the excessively anxious and fidgety library types, do yourself a favor and bring yourself a full pencil. Thats right ladies and gents, he is actually working with two of those pencils that you get from Mini-Golf. Number 1, there's basically no lead on those pencils so WTF. Two, how are you writing anything with a pencil that has no lead. 3, there are no pencil sharpeners in Alderman. 4, I can see the teeth marks on the pencil. Its wood, not candy. Let it go unless you're having a seizure. And now he has pushed three of his books on the floor in his crazy caffeinated state. You my friend should meet up with loud talking girl and go get something to eat on the Corner. No really you should go. I think it would definitely do you some good because sometimes the best thing to do is to get out. That is my recommendation to you. Good luck pal.