Hello world! Sorry for the lack of updates for the last few months. Have no fear, I have not suddenly become soft and lost my judgmental glasses in which I view the rest of the world. I just keep on forgetting to update my blog whenever I see things of note, so I have decided that this blog shall be my constant cynical ramblings describing the world around me. Note: I am not actually a cynical person, but for some reason my writing seems to flow much smoother when I'm ranting about something or someone. So, prepare yourself for some new updates in my life and in the world around me.
I would like to update my readers on one thing. Just so you all know, in case you didn't, chocolate is technically caffeinated and when you order a decaf mocha at Starbucks or at Greenberry's, you are actually asking for something impossible because mocha is actually a combination of coffee and chocolate. In other words, please don't get angry at the barista when you ask for a decaf mocha and they tell you that's impossible because honestly, they really wanna tell you that you're a moron. Also, please don't proceed to scream at them and tell them to just make the coffee decaf because chocolate is caffeinated as well. If they finally agree to your insane request, they've put decaf coffee and caffeinated chocolate in your drink, and therefore your drink is caffeinated. You.Are.Caffeine.Retarded. Now that we have established this, please buy yourself a cone of silence, move to the side of the line, and allow me to order my normal, 5-7 word long drink order that actually exists. Thanks.