Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Febreeze please?

Alright, its the week before spring break and I've basically been stuck in the library with everyone else who seems to have a shit ton of crap to do this week.  I have 3 exams in 24 hours.  So, as per usual, I will ace one while failing the other two.  Props to me.  Anyways, I would like to comment on few things that should be known as basic etiquette in the library.

1) This is a library.  You know, where books are housed and people study.  I mean, yeah, there are tables in there, but these tables are not your dining room table and you're not at a restaurant.  You have some serious issues if you order an entire Chinese feast and sit at a table in Clemons Library eating it with three of your friends and then, once the meal is over, you all get up and leave.  No like really, you don't have tables or common rooms you could go eat?  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Chinese food, but only when I'm eating it because let's be honest, it actually smells disgusting.  So to you person who just ordered and opened some awful smelling Chinese food and have now proceeded to let it fall over your shirt, its 9:00 PM, it is not meal time nor is it appropriate snack time for Chinese food.  The only thing I want to smelling right now are books and my wonderful Ralph Lauren Romance perfume.  My recently shampooed hair is in front of my hair at this very moment in order that I might smell the lusciousness that is my hair instead of your smelly food.  I would rather look like Cousin It then smell your food.  You should be ashamed.

2) If you've ever been in Clemons Library, then you know that the fourth floor has booths off to one side next to the huge windows.  Now, there are not a lot of these booths and are thus a scarce, precious, and therefore rare commodity and must therefore be treated with great respect.  So you can imagine my disdain at seeing a booth with books and backpack in it, but no person...for over an hour and a half.  I understand saving your seat but thats just plain evil.  Way to be a colonial oppressor.  I, a native of the library, wish to obtain a seat that as a fourth year should rightfully be mine, but you have taken that opportunity away from me.  Nor do I appreciate the kid that sits on the table of one of these booths laughing and giggling with his friends while no one is sitting there.  It's seriously like you're mocking me.  It's just not ok.  I am sitting here, in my little spot near the booths, looking longingly over at your basically empty booth while you seat on its table laughing and joking around.  Kid, you are cruisin for a bruisin,

3) Just saw a girl with a pillow leave and come back with a blanket in tow.  oh.shit.

New business idea: rent air mattresses, pillows, and blankets to the lifeless souls pulling all-nighters in Clemons.  Genius.  You all would be in such a zombie-like state that you would have no idea what you were paying for.  MWAHAHAHAHA.

I will be here all.night.long.


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