Tuesday, March 6, 2012
5 Hour Energy
Have you ever hit that point in the day where you just cannot go on. You know that 3 PM feeling that 5 Hour Energy makes it money off of. Even if you don’t use 5 Hour Energy (which btw I do not after I witnessed the horrifying spectacle that my friend became after drinking it while studying for finals), you’d be lying if you didn’t know what I was talking about. You know, its that feeling you get that you absolutely cannot go on. That the world has to come to an end. That you can do no more. That even the most exciting of situations would fade to nothingness in your current state. The computer screen begins to become blurry as your mind wanders off. You stare off into space and not in an intellectual kind of way but the kind of way that screams for immediate aid. Well, I’m in that state but unfortunately I have come to realize that once I’ve hit that point, I’m either a vegetable and should be taken off of life support or if I absolutely must get something done, I can only do it with excessive amounts of noise. Like right now. I just made this noise that’s somewhere between an elephant noise and a high-pitched fart…but with my mouth. Yes, that does sound disgusting and no its really not that bad. If you’ve heard me do it, then you know what I’m talking about. Anyways, get your minds out of the gutter and pay attention to what I’m writing about. So I just forced myself to make that noise because I know that I want to write this but at the same time my eyes are extra wide, my lips are curled in a ridiculous grin and I can’t stop dancing to my music because I’m afraid that if I stop, I might never get back up. Earlier, when this situation began to overtake my senses, I felt the need for entrance music. That’s right. I sang myself entrance music. Then I felt the need to make different sounds for opening desk drawers, like attempting to recreate the Law and Order sound. You know what I’m talking about and if you don’t, then you’re not American. Sorry. Anyways, I opened my email and immediately began singing the Imperial March from Star Wars. It was definitely appropriate. I also can’t stop spinning in my chair which has an unfortunate habit of making this clicking noise at every half turn and it probably doesn’t help that I simulate a gust of wind as I spin or when I want to go fast, I pretend that I’m speeding. Oh yeah. I’m at that point in the day. Be thankful that you don’t sit by me. But now I must bid you all adieu as I have decided that my time would be better spent using my new Rubber Band gun to shot at my neighbors area. Specifically his stuffed dog. Its going down. Have a wonderful, noisy day and don’t let anyone get you down. If being noisy is what makes you happy, then never regret the fact that your co-workers are probably plotting horrific ways to make your life miserable. Just remember. It was worth it for that moment of sanity and happiness.