Saturday, July 14, 2012

Omaha Mavericks

For the past week I've been in Omaha, Nebraska.  I've never been to the Midwest so this is very much a new experience for me.  Its one thing to study the differences in culture in other countries, but its quite a different thing to study it in your own country.  Ok, I'm not technically in Omaha to study Midwestern culture, but one cannot help but notice the differences between the people of Omaha and my own hometown.  For one thing, the majority of people drive very slow and all of the lines on the road seem to be more of a suggestion than anything else.  Also, Omaha is considered to be a big city and I have no doubt that in the Midwest is probably is, but I can drive from my hotel at the outskirts of the city to the very edge of the city center on a Saturday at noon in about 7 minutes.  For real.  Anyone from DC knows that going 7 minutes in DC means that you've probably gone through 2 traffic lights.  Maybe.  If you're lucky.  Ok, so in reality I'm here for a class, which is also kind of weird because this the first time that I've ever been on another college campus taking course since I graduated in May 2011.  Its a nice campus, like I mentioned last time.  I can walk the entire length of the main campus in ten minutes.  I know because I walk it every day.

Also, I've been told many a time that the people of the Midwest are extraordinarily friendly.  For the most part they are, but I gotta say, a lot of the students seem absolutely bewildered when I ask them a question, but then again maybe I'm asking really difficult questions.  You know, like, "Where is the library?" or "Where is the Arts and Sciences Building?"  You know, very difficult, hardly ever used buildings that happen to hold the majority of the classes.  Or I guess they don't utilize their library?  A shame really.  Oh, and for all of the tour guides at the University of Nebraska at Omaha (aka UNO or as I call it: uno), I am not a student at UNO.  My UVA flip flops and backpack might have given that away and also, if I'm asking you where the library is, I probably don't go there.  Either that or I'm the shittiest student known to man.  Either or.

Also, for the students at UNO.  Please stop staring at me because I'm wearing a dress.  No but for real.  I realize that you all somehow have some magical, Midwestern gene that somehow allows you to wear dark jeans, socks, and sneakers and somehow not sweat, but I unfortunately do not have that gene and therefore would be a walking rainstorm if I wore those outfits.  In other words, I wear a dress because unlike you all, I sweat.  But for real, why does no one on that campus wear dresses and seriously, is it that weird for a girl to wear a dress that you need to stare?  Its over 97 degrees here.  How is that possible?  And you all aren't sweating!?!  Mutants, thats what you are.  UNO Mavericks.  Nay I tell you.  UNO Mutants you should be called.

Also, I need some advice on something.  So I joined the UNO gym while I'm here in Omaha.  I like the gym facility.  Its new and its clean and thats basically all I can ask for.  But I really gotta ask.  Is it really too much to answer my question as to where the women's locker room is?  Am I really bothering you with that question or would you prefer that I strip down naked in front of you and perhaps then you'll understand the point of my question.  Oh, and if I ask you where the cleaning wipes are, please don't ask me "Don't you know where they are?"  Obviously I don't dumbshit.  Do you think that I would be bothering you with this if I knew?  Idiot.  But for real.  Students of UNO.  You all seem extremely nice, but seriously, don't be shocked when people come up and ask you questions.  They're not trying to bother you or ruin your day.  They just want to experience your school.  So be kind and for goodness sake just answer the question as best as you can.  Oh, and the answer, "The Arts and Sciences Building is past the pointed thing and just keep walking and its somewhere over there."  First off, that pointed thing is called a Campanile.  Its on a sign on the building.  Or you could call it the giant phallic symbol in the middle of your campus.  That would work too.  But seriously, the pointed thing?  And its kind of over there somewhere?  There are maybe a dozen buildings on your campus.  You seriously can't tell me where that building is in more precise terms than its past the pointed thing and its somewhere over there?  Seriously, give your school some credit and start using words that describe the location of buildings on your campus in more precise terms.

Anyways, the class is interesting and the campus is actually very pretty.  Stay tuned for more updates from Omaha!

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